How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
