I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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