How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
