so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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