I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
