those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
