Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
