i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
