you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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