I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
