Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
