The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
