is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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