Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
