HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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