I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
