I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
