If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
