you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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