i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
birth control should be required to get into college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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