Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
