They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
