Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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