I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
