Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
