I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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