one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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