You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
