I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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