I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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