she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
