you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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