He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
