I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
