I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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