Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
