Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Randomize
