I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
