I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
