Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
