i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
