does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
