Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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