As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
