we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
