I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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