took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
