Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
