girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
