Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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