I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
