I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
