47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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