I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
